|
|
| < | travanj, 2008 | |||||
| P | U | S | Č | P | S | N |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | |
| 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 |
| 28 | 29 | 30 | ||||
Dnevnik.hr
Gol.hr
Zadovoljna.hr
Novaplus.hr
NovaTV.hr
DomaTV.hr
Mojamini.tv
in love with fairies..
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safer in my room
Unless I try to start again
I don't want to be the one
Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
On top of the world you get nothing done
Talk is cold and burns like the sun
Can't you see these skies are breaking?
Cos on top of the world is where I'm from
Your lack of class is where I was
Keeping quiet playing dumb
Can't you see these skies are breaking?
Cos the back of the class is where I'm from
...braco...
...dubo...
...patrisha...
...mely...
...hp nerds obavezno pogledati.. teorije za 7.dio, OČI, ČAS-ovi :)
potter, weasley i grangerica postali dark.. cool :) mozda budu death eatersi (shmrtonose) u sedmom djelu...lol.. not going to happen.......
.::dreams::.
Oh my life is changing everyday
Every possible way
Though my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems
I know I felt like this before
But now I’m feeling it even more
Because it came from you
Then I open up and see
The person fumbling here is me
A different way to be
I want more, impossible to ignore
Impossible to ignore
They’ll come true, impossible not to do
Impossible not to do
Now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don’t hurt me
For what I couldn’t find
Talk to me amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You’re everything to me
Oh my life is changing everyday
Every possible way
Though my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems
’cause you’re a dream to me
Dream to me
..:free to decide:..
It's not worth anything,
More than this at all.
I'll live as I choose,
Or I will not live at all.
So return to where you come from,
Return to where you dwell,
Because harassment's not my forte,
But you do it very well.
You must have nothing,
More with your time to do.
There's a war in Russia,
And Sarajevo too.
So to hell with what you're thinking,
And to hell with your narrow mind,
You're so distracted from the real thing,
You should leave your life behind, behind.
my hogwarts side... :)
...
hp nerd and proud of it :)..
"while we live according to race, colour or creed
while we rule by blind madness and pure greed
our lives dictated by tradition, superstition, false religion
through the aeons, and on and on
oh yes we'll keep on tryin'"
Tko ne voli mog psa,
ne može voljeti ni mene.
Ništa na svijetu ne cini
tako sretnim kao sanjarenje.
Budi promjena koju zelis vidjeti..
...remember me...
A PERFECT CIRCLE
..:imagine:..
Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...
Imagine there's no countries,
It isn't hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...
You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.
Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.
sailor moon...
obozavala tai crtic dok sam bila mala... jos onda obozavala anime.. obozavam i sad.. al sailor moon je zauvjek jedan dio mog djetinjstva.. zahvaljujuci to crticu valjda i sad znam ono malo njemackog.. memories.. :)
Hey, come over here. Meet her. She is special. Look at her. She is everything you need. She will fix everything. Just let her do the work. She will give you everything. All your dreams, hopes, everything you’ve ever wanted.
Everyone admires you. But the best part is, you can say stop. When you become too happy. You can stop her. You know you can. Can you really? She has given you so much. But, you want more. But she won`t give you more. You think it is just a short crisis. You keep on living like she is still with you. All of her.
But, no, there is something missing. The key part. The main part. The part that kept you together. The part that made all the pain worth while. Where is that part? Who is the one that remained? Now you see the different side of her. The ugly one. Oh, yes, you are not a fool. You knew about the ugly side before. That is not new. But, you are special. You could control her. Could you? You didn’t let her take your identity. You are still the same old you. Same but improved. She helped you. Of course she did. So why is she doing it now? No. Is she doing it? Or is it you? Is there “a she”? Or was it you all along. No, there is a she. Everyone knows about her. But not everyone knows her. You do. You really think you do? Form all the millions who couldn’t fight her, you think you are the special one who can control her. Use her for your own good and give nothing back? Well, you know, nothing comes for free. Capitalism. Random thoughts. No, clear your head. Focus. Find the answer. Why are you still sitting here? Sitting won`t help you. Do. Do something. DO!
No. I wont. I will find the answer.
Bullshit. Bunch of bullshit.
Oh, here you are.
Yes, here I am.
You were here all along, were you?
You know I was, so why asking?
Dunno, I guess the poet in me thought it sounded well. Poetic. Meaningful.
Special maybe?
Maybe. You are distracting me right?
Yes, I am. We are talking for the first time now. You know that’s more interesting than just another boring self revealing essay with no conclusion.
Oh, but we did talk before, just not like this. Stop it. Don’t do that.
What, stop it? I did not came here by myself. You know it. I know it. You invited me. I didn’t want top come. You were such a pretty girl. You still had a chance. A bit messed, but still in a good shape to crawl out of the pit. But you didn’t want to. You thought I will make you special. And you kept calling me. Week after week. So I came. You thought you were still in control, did you? Silly girl. But, you knew who I am. What I bring. You were the smart girl. Smart girls fail first. So full of your self, you thought you could just take the best and run, ei? Well, you got it. You were special. Wearing that victory smile all the time. I was your little secret that kept you going, was I? I made you special. I was the shining talisman in you that kept you going forward. Forward to my arms. And so you came. Not completely , I must say. But close enough so I could grab your arms and hold you thight. You felt it, did you? These few days. So you got a bit afraid, you then first time saw that I maybe still control you. So you told someone about me, did you? Of course. Who else? he is your rock. You knew he will know what to do. And he listened for a while. He was such a good listener. You felt better did you? Yes you did. You thought he was gonna help you? Well, he didn’t. its your fault. No one else`s. yes, deep down you knew it. You tried to accuse everybody else. but it was you. It was you who let me in. it was you who made me part of you. And that is the hardest is it? To kill a part of yourself. Still, you think it could go back like before. Few times, you actually thought you finally got rid of me. Stupid. You paid for that, didn’t you? Yes, that should made me go away, shouldn’t it? Yess, I let you think that. Wallow in your own hell. In the dark. But, someone came and hit the light. Yes, it was he. But he was here before. A noone. How possibly he could help you? Actually, he might could. But, for that, you would have to be honest, right? Yea, we both know it ain`t gonna happen. You know its your own battle. Fight it. I am not the evil. The part of you is. Don’t do the same mistake again. I know what are you thinking. Just like the old days, ei? But honey, don’t fool yourself. It was so easy only because I let you control me for few minutes. I gave you a second chance. Or is it a third one? Sorry, I lost track. Now you know, sweetheart, you cant control me. Sooner or later, I shall grab you. But not just your arms. And when that happens, I wont give you no chances. There will be no easy way to run away. You will be mine. I will control you. You know that, you’ve read about that. I have done it before. Oh, but you are special right? Look at yourself in the mirror and then see for yourself if that’s true. But you are a smart girl. You don’t need a mirror. You can feel it. You can feel the cost you paid the first time. It was not a good was to get rid of me. But you have learned. Use that. Im not the devil. Im not the demon. You called me here. you want me to go? Then start acting like that. Take control. Make me go, and I shall go.
ne znam.. mislim da nemam nikakve duboke misli koje bi mogla napisati.. u zadnje vrijeme sam ionak povrsna. ha, dolazi ljeto, maturalac, treba stisnuti u skoli.. treba sto stvari, puno planova odraditi, a ja nist ne radim. opet se uljenila. ajde da sam bar zaljubljena pa da imam razlog, da imam neki cilj, nest za kaj se trudim.. onak, ozbiljno. imam filing da svi nekam idu, nekim svojim putem, a da ja stojim na mjestu. bez ikakve vizije buducnosti ili jednostavng iscekivanja novog dana. nisam u bedu,samo sam razocarana. imam osjecaj da se stare stvari, prijateljstva raspadaju, da ostajem bez tla pod nogama i zacas necu imati na cemu stajati.. sve ce nestati. imam jos godinu dana- naive, neznanja i bezbrižnosti, a opet, to sad ne cijenim. samo cekam, cekam, cekam nest veliko dok sve ostalo prolazi kraj mene.. imam osjecaj da vise nist ne određujem, da me nosi neka snazna struja kojoj se ne mogu oduprijeti, tek svako malo pokusam i ne uspijem..
I am humpty dumpty. fragile, I sitt on the wall, and I am afraid that I will fall and break, but in the end someone will come and break me, and then I will see the world how it really is..
dugo ne pisala.. uljenila se :) grozno.. ma ne, nekak se desilo previse stvari odjednom pa mi je trebalo malo vremena da se u svemu snadjem.. i sad sam HAPPY.. da covjek ne povjeruje.. nekak.. cvrsto sam uvjerena da bude ovo super godina.. pocela je ocajno.. al bas zato:D
kaj mi je? tak sam poletna.. ko da sam zaljubljena :D weee!! al nisam, heh.. volim se dizati ujutro (tek poslje 9, da se razumije) samo se smijesim.. prebolila sam gripu, zgadil mi se caj od sljeza, zakljucila da se moram bavit sportom jer ce mi otic kicma inace i tak to.. sve same vesele stvari.. :D eto, nisam ipak mracnjak.. hehe.. dogovorili se na kraju kam cemo na maturalac (inace se uzasno svadjali.. grcka, spanjolska, italija..) i na kraju se odlucili za kombinaciju PRAG-BEC-BRATISLAVA (il kaj god) ugl. ponuda je genijalna i bas se veselim.. yipi yei.. i ako budem imala srece bum isla i na mjesec-dva u london sittat.. fakat bi htjela ic sam je malo problem kaj jos nebum imala 18 al drzim fige :) i to bi bil negdje sedmi mjesec.. bas onda kad bi bila HP PREMIJERA u londonu... e to bi bilo savrsheno.. kam cu jos ici? aha, da.. u Ri- k braceku.. weeeliki shopping, jedva cekam!! trebala ic ovaj mjesec al mali ima puno ispita pa me moji nisu pustili, al ko ceka doceka.. tak i ja cekam onaj tower centar.. il bolje receno, on mene ceka!!! :D
e previse sam entuzijasticna.. nemogu vise pisati...
kizz
cekam da mi dodje inspiracja.. kaj da napisem. i skuzila sam da u zadnje vriujeme ni ne razmisljam bas o necem posebnom..bubana sam.. i sad sam sama doma i pijem goleme kolicine caja sa sumecim tabletam s vitaminima C.. i kljukam se tabletama i svasta... al sam sretna:) obozavam ovo doba godine.. obozavam sto se priblizava bozic.. pomisao na to doba godine me uvijek ispuni nekim ocekivanjem.. toplinom..
jer znam da bumo svi skupa, povezujem to s praznicima.. kuhanim vinom s cimetom i puno puno secera bas onak kak ja to volim.. sveti nikola.. :) yeii.. darovi!! svi ljudi su nekak opusteniji.. jednostavnije je jednostavno potrositi cijeli dan u druzenju, i nist ne rađenju.. (iako to meni nikad nije bio problem) nema vise tolko testova.. ocjene su kolko tolko formirane.. nema vise stresa:) mogu se posvetiti i sebi i ljudima koje sam zbog skole zapustila.. badnja vecer, zuckasto svijetlo sto ga bor baca na dnevnu sobu, svjecice.. opet svađa s tatom oko toga da smo fulali boju kuglica:) polnocka..idem do ine da ju pokupim i stavim poklon pod bor... smrzavanje u crkvi.. odlazak doma bez osjecaja u nogama.. (.. happy surprise..) bozicno jutro.. darovi..dorucak, kolaci:).. ljeskarenje cijeli dan sa svojima.. musici dolaze na bozicni rucak...
i onda jos>>>nova godina!!!! yei.. festa s ljudima koje volim.. zamisljam kak bu sve to izgledalo.. pitam se kaj ce me na ovom doceku iznenaditi, po cemu cu ga pamtiti... ali..
uvijek se nadam da bude se nest desilo.. kaj vec dugo zelim.. u to doba godine.. i obicno se desi to kaj zelim.. mozda ne u obliku kakvom sam ja to zamislila, al svejedno na kraju ispadnem happy.. volim kaj si u ovo doba godine postavljam neke ciljeve.. uvijek se pitam kai ce mi sljedeca godina donjeti.. snjeg, grudanje, promrzli prsti..
osjecam se kao da lebdim.. između zbilje, stvarnosti i neke izvrnute slike svijeta, neke maste.. neceg kai ja zelim da bude, da postoji.. prilagođavam pravila sebi.. tek tu i tamo noznim prstima doticem stvarnost.. i dalje, lebdim.. promatram svijet.. ja nisam dio njega.. samo neutralni promatrac..imam osjecaj ko da zaspim u nedjelju i budim se u petak..prolaze mi tjedni u nekom stalnom iscekivanju, neceg vaznog, a da nisam svjesna stvarnosti, i pitam se, svaki petak, .. kai mi je ostalo od ovog tjedna? kaj se vazno desilo?.. i gledam kak reagiramo, kai nam je vazno, cime se zamaram.. i na kraju je sve to smijesno, ko mala djeca nesvjesna veceg svijeta, vecih stvari svađamo se, trgamo za najljepsom igrackom.. i ne ljutim se vise toliko, ne zestim se nad glupostima.. neko bu uvijek zatvoren u svojoj glavi, unutar granica koje si je sam postavil, a neko bude sagledaval svijet s puno gledista...
istina je balon.. nikad je ne mozes cijelu sagledati iz jednog gledista..
mozda se to desi kad covijek pocne kuziti sam sebe.. jer, u biti, nikad se ne mozes u potpunosti upoznati, ali zato cijeli zivot ucis.. ja ne znam puno o zivotu, a ni o svijetu kai se toga tice.. al htjela bi puno toga znati.. kai se ne uci u skoli.. htjela bi uciti o zivotu, o ljudima koji me okruzuju.. mozda je to ono kai me zanima u zivotu..
a mozda je to faza.. mozda jos nisam odustala od starih vrijednosti.. mozda se jos uvijek nadam.. da bude sve ok, da budem shvacena.. da budem sretna, da ce se nest samo desiti, samo moram biti uporna.. i da bude sve kao prije.. da cu vratiti vrijeme i ispraviti pogreske..
...
imam osjecaj da ponekad sapucem i niko me ne cuje.. da vristim i nikog nije briga.. svi imaju nekog svog, nest svoje.. neznam jel sam se ja to promijenila il oni.. jel se ina promijenila il ja? jer, imam osjecaj da je jedna od onih od kojih se udaljavam, a to ne zelim.. jel smo prerasle ono neko druzenje? cerekanje do duboko u noc? il sam ja postala cinicna, ogorcena? i opet se nadam da je i to samo faza.. kriza odrastanja.. da bu sve ok.. kao prije..
peacefull..
kai da velim? ne razumijem, jednostavno.. nemam razloga.. sve me gusilo.. i necu to vise dopustiti, zivim za sebe, ne za druge, ne za skolu.. skuzila da imam neke nevjerojatne slicnosti s ludima od kojih sam to najmanje ocekivala.. foolish, eh? al ne znam, nekak mi pomaze dok pricam s njima.. a cinilo se da ne mogu bit drugciji, da nije moguce da mogu pojmiti ono o cemu razmisljam.. ne znam, mozda novo misljenje pa zato, mozda jer to od njih nisam nikad ocekivala. isto tak skuzila da se pocinjem udaljavati od nekih ljudi, ljudi za koje sam mislila da ih poznajem u dusu.. mozda ih i poznajem, volim, ali.. ne osjecam se vise dobro u njihovom drustvu.. uvuku me u vrtlog stalne nervoznosti, tuge, depresije jer nisam mozda dovoljno dobra, nekad mi samo treba.. zagrljaj, i rijec da bu sve ok.. da su drugi idioti, da ne brinem toliko o tuđem mišljenju jer bu uvijek postojal neko ko me nebu voljel, kome jednostavno iz principa ne budem simpaticna.. i da se ne trudim, da ne budem sizif koji bu stalno gural kamen uz brdo, don Quijote u borbi protiv vjetrenjaca.. jednostavno, nekad mi treba onaj laksi pristup problemu.. necu filozofiranja nakon kojih ispada da sam ionak sama kriva.. necu vise biti sama kriva.. zelim znati da me netko ipak postuje, dozivljava ko pametnu maldu osobu koja ima potencijal postati nest.. zelim cuti ono u cemu sam dobra.. sick n tired od svih zapreka koje se prijece nekoj svijetloj imaginarnoj buducnosti..idili.. zelim bar razmisljati da bu sve jednom ok.. bar razmisljati ak i ne bude.. jednostavno.. trebam nest pozitivno u zivotu, zasitila sam se tuge, kompleksa zbog glupih stvari..
...
pocinjem vjerovati u srecu. stupidno? ne znam bas.. ak i je stupidno, it helps.. bila fest confuzed... sad malo manje.. everyday good..
...
once was mine.. now I´m alone.. and the love is all around.. need someone to set me free..
tak sam se osjecala jucer.. totalno napusteno.. poslala ocajna par poruka.. i nije bilo odgovora.. bojim se da vise necu vidjet neke ljude.. koji mi puno znace.. bojim se da cemo se razici.. svatko na svoju stranu.. nekog ce vuci ljubav, nekog karijera.. a da cu ja ostat sama.. jer.. mene nist ne vuce.. nemam volje, nemam nist svoje, nest ceg cu se grcevito drzt cijeli zivot, neku stabilnost.. neku ambiciju.. imam snove, al sam previse "materijalna" (to mi je nova omiljena rijec) da ih slijedim.. previse realna.. u cemu sam ja dobra? onak, stvarno, kai mi ide? ne znam.. po cemu sam posebna? kai ja to mogu kai drugi ne mogu? tell me cuz I don`t know..
nekad davno, dok sam bila mala.. htjela bit super hero.. htjela bit savrshena u necemu.. u jednoj stvari.. htjela bit posebna.. htjela da me neko pamti. jos me uvjek uzasava pomisao na to da cu pasti u zaborav.. da me se 50 godina nakon kai umrem vise niko nece sjecati.. ko da nikad nisam ni bila tu.. bit cu jedna o milijardi koje su pale u zaborav..
nisam tuzna.. ne onak intenzivno.. samo sam.. sjetna.
...
bed mi je svaki dan.. jer znam da znam biti fest zlocesta prema ljudima.. jer sam jednostavno tolko nezadovoljna sobom da to pokazujem tak da se sprdam iz nekog, da se svađam.. jer se tak udaljavam od onog o cemu bi zapravo trebala razmisliti.. mrzim se.. jer ne znam prepoznati ono kai je vrijedno u zivotu.. jer ne slusam mozak nego trenutne hirove.. i onda zalim.. mjesecima.. i znam da kad mi naiđe slicna situacija da cu opet popustiti hirovima.. i pustit da mi nekaj vazno opet klizne kroz prste.. i znam da mi tu niko ne moze pomoci.. da neke stvari moram sama..
...
imam filing da je moja psiha jednako izoblicena ko ona macka gore na slikici.. zbunjena, deformirana.. totalno.. zelim, ne zelim.. mrzim, tuzna sam, sretna sam, zelim se ubiti.. mrzim svoje vanjsko ja.. mrzim sliku koju saljem ljudima.. rezim, a opet zelim da me neko pomazi tu i tamo..
hm.. mislim da sam upravo opisla štefa (my cat).. on je takvi.. lol.. ljubimac ko i gospodar, ha?
:)
život je igra
koju reba igrati
po svojim pravilima
karakteristika nezrela čovjeka je
da želi za neku stvar slavno poginuti...
dok je karakteristika zrelog čovjeka
da za istu stvar smjerno živi...
savjeti starijih su vredniji od naših...
nepromišljenost je mana tinejđera...
>>>lovac u žitu<<<
...
doslo je i do toga.. da ne znam vise kai da pisem.. mislim da sam se negdje izgubila.. mislila sam da sam se promijenila.. i da je to gotova stvar.. prestala sam se truditi.. oko same sebe.. samopouzdanje mi pada, zivim svakodnevicu.. over and over.. sanjam vec pripremljeni san.. nothing new happens..
...
osjecam se usamljeno.. osjecam se tupo.. mrzim to.. u zadnje vrijeme samo mrzim.. zelim nest kai ne mogu imati.. volim nest kai ne smijem voljeti, osjecam ono kai ne smjem osjecati...ne mogu vise slusati tuđe probleme.. kad niko ne slusa kai ja imam za reci.. jer.. moji su problemi glupi, nizevrijedni.. sve ce se to samo vec rijesiti..
gledala jucer skolske tajne.. i glasovali su za predsjednika il nesh tako.. i bil jedan klinac.. i bil onak, jadan, ne popularan, jednostavno- freak..cak ni njegova vlastita mama nije vjerovala u njega.. i pripremil fesst pametan govor.. i onda se skamenil.. i zguzval papir s govorom.. i veli- ... da glasujemo za one najpopularnije? pa to se inace tak radi... popular wins.. da glasamo za najzgodniju curu? isfurano.. samo zelim reci da sam ja freak.. i da smo svi freakovi.. svatko misli da je ili premali, preglup, predebeo.. we`re all freaks.. glasajte za ono sto je razlicito.. sto je najdalje od neke tipicne slike tinejđera.. jer ce upravo freak napraviti najvecu promjenu..-
...
ironicno.. svi bi s slozili s tim govorom.. a kolko bi ga zivjelo? ja ga ne zivim.. kolko ljudi vele da su liberalni, tolerantni..? i onda zgađedno bulje u nekog gaya na ulici.. ne velim da sam ja tolerantna.. daleko od toga.. we all just talk, talk, talk.. niko nish ne poduzima.. bilo bi najlakse okriviti "glupe amere" jer su cijelom svijetu nametnuli svoj nacin zivota, svoje vrijednosti.. kai su pokvarili svijet.. cinjenica je da imaju velku ulogu, i meni se ko nacija zbog toga gade.. al, ak smo i mi podlozni tome, are we better than tem? zky smo to prihvatili?
...
listen to your heart..
listen to your heart before you tell him good bye..
listen when it`s callin for you..
:)
